Memories Of A Forgotten Life
by Lady Aurelia Crawley
Summary: The shock return of someone from the Crawley Family's life spells nothing but trouble, but especially for Elsie Hughes. Just as things between her and Charlie Carson were progressing, this new arrival could ruin everything that she had worked hard to conceal. Will Charlie be able to help her? and will their relationship survive it? Will contain flashbacks to Elsie's arrival.
1. Chapter 1

**As promised here is the next instalment of my franchise and things are going to get pretty angsty for Mrs H, Mr Carson and Ella, well the whole family really, but mainly our fave couple and I will explore Elsie's relationship with her daughter in the early days in more detail. So please leave me a wee review and let me know what you think.**

Elsie sat in the rickety old arm chair that sat beside the bay window in her room in the attics of Downton. She stared out on to the grounds below completely lost in her thoughts and her fears. She had only just returned to Downton with Ella, Charlie and the rest of the family, but Ella had insisted that her mam went straight up to her room out of the way.

'Mam I don't want to put you through this; I don't want to cause you any more pain than I already have, so please, go upstairs and rest for a while. I'll come up and speak with you once I have spoken with Papa and Mama.' Ella had instructed kindly; she really did want to do everything in her power to protect her mam.

She had wanted to return home to Downton herself and had suggested that Charlie and her mam stay in London until everything was sorted, but Elsie hadn't wanted that. She wanted to face this not only for herself, but for her daughter as well. She felt that it was time she put it all to bed once and for all, so that she could finally enjoy the relationship she now had with her daughter, instead of it being tainted all of the time by what had happened all those years ago. But Ella's need to protect her mam had driven her to insist that Elsie return to her own room.

'But do you not think the other servants will find it strange that we have returned early and that I am not back downstairs with them?' Elsie had tried to reason.

'Mam I really don't care what they think right now; my main priority is you.' Ella had replied, but not unkindly. 'I don't know whether this man is who he claims he is, but either way I want to spare you the heartache of having to deal with it. I'm certain that the other staff will have heard about Papa's brother's return and I'm certain the servants' hall will be full of talk about it. I don't want to subject you to their gossip.'

'You don't need to worry about that; Mr Carson will certainly put a stop to any gossip now that we've returned.'

'Be that as it may, it would be an extremely foolish thing for me to do to subject you to that. So please, stay up here and rest. If anyone questions your absence then refer them to me, I will soon put them in their place. You're still recovering from Spanish Flu, that much is true, so if anyone dares to ask it, they can be told that.'

'Oh Ella, I'm supposed to be the one that protects you, not the other way around.'

'Mam, you have protected me and you've made sacrifices that no mother should ever have to make, so let me do the protecting now.' Ella replied as she placed her hand to her mother's cheek and Elsie managed to give a very small smile at the thought of how grown up and strong her wee girl was.

Ella had then disappeared downstairs to speak with her parents, who were sat in the library waiting for her with the rest of her family. They had all waited for her, Robert, Cora, Mary, Edith and Sybil, and the looks of worry on their faces were clearly evident; they all wondered just how much more distress and upset Ella could take in her life.

'Darling come sit beside me.' Cora said instantly when Ella walked into the room. The mother hugged her daughter tightly before she allowed her to seat herself at her side and she kept a tight clasp of the younger woman's hands.

'Well this is quite a welcoming committee.' Ella said, completely unsure how to ease the tension in the room.

'Oh my darling I'm so sorry you had to cut your honeymoon short to come home to this; we tried to protect you from it the best we could, well for as long as we could until we knew more, but…' Cora said as she brushed a loose curl back behind Ella's ear, before she broke off from her speech and glanced at her husband.

'But we couldn't protect you from it any longer, as Murray has finally confirmed…oh my little one, I'm sorry to have to tell you that Murray has confirmed that the man is indeed Richard Crawley, my younger brother and…'

'…and my biological father.' Ella finished for him with her eyes burning with tears.

No one replied to that statement and no one could bear to look Ella in the eye; they were all so shocked by the admission and the implications of what this meant to Ella. Although they had all known about this element to Ella's parentage, it of course never got acknowledged or discussed and Richard's existence had been completely ignored for many years. His death, or rather his believed death, had drawn a line under it for Robert and Cora, but now his return brought everything back for them and resurfaced a lot of feelings they had never contemplated before.

'So where is he now?' Ella asked with a hoarse whisper.

'Well until it was confirmed that he was who he said he was, he had agreed to stay at the pub in the village, but since the confirmation, your grandmother insisted that he stay with her; so he moved into the Dower House a few days ago.' Robert explained calmly, but there was a hint of anger to his voice.

'I still don't understand how this all came about exactly; when and how did he return?' Sybil asked after a few moments of quiet contemplation.

'Shortly after Ella and Henry left for their honeymoon Mama received a letter from the war office with news of her son. It seems that the information we had received back in 1900 was correct, Richard had indeed joined the British Army and he did fight in the African War, but he was not killed as it was believed. I'm still not certain of the exact details, but it would seem that he received some sort of head trauma which caused a great deal of amnesia. He had no recollection of who he was, where he was from or anything from his past; he became lost in the crowd effectively and fashioned himself a new identity and has been living in New Zealand.' Robert explained with the little information he had.

'It must be nice for Granny to have her son back,' Ella said, which surprised everyone. Of all the comments she could have made, that was the last one they ever expected.

'Don't think harshly of your grandmother Ella, none of this is her fault and as she doesn't know the truth about what happened, she is of course delighted to have him home with her after all these years.' Robert explained.

'I don't think harshly of her Papa, it's understandable that that is how she feels; in fact I envy her ignorance of who he truly is and what he did.' She replied compassionately.

Downstairs in the servants' hall Charlie was trying to busy himself with the jobs that needed to be done and getting the house back into some level of order now that he had returned, but his mind kept drifting upstairs to his soon to be step-daughter and further up to his future wife. Try as he might he could no longer tolerate being left downstairs and in the dark and he knew he just had to go up and offer Elsie some form of comfort, so he slipped quietly away from his pantry and went up the stair case unseen by the others, which was exactly as he had wanted it.

Still sat in her room Elsie allowed her mind to drift into the depths of her memories as she stared out onto the front driveway of the house and remembered the first time she had come up it to start her new life at Downton Abbey.


	2. Chapter 2

_The cold March winds whipped around the hem of Elsie's skirt as she climbed down from the carriage at the station, where steam from the train's engine billowed onto the platform. She struggled with her luggage until an older woman and gentleman came to her aid._

_'Are you Miss Hughes?' The older woman asked sharply. She was very tall and exceptionally thin, with reddened cheeks and a stern expression._

_'I am,' Elsie replied. 'Elsie, Elsie Hughes.' She added as she held out her hand to shake the other woman's._

_'I'm Mrs Pembroke, the housekeeper at Downton Abbey.' She replied and then led Elsie out of the station where her luggage had already been loaded into the trap and the same man she had seen earlier was sat waiting for them._

_Mrs Pembroke didn't talk to Elsie at all during the journey to the house and Elsie thought she didn't seem like the kind of woman who did small talk and certainly wasn't someone to trifle with. And she was right, Mrs Pembroke ruled the staff of Downton Abbey with an iron rod; she didn't take any nonsense from any of the staff and didn't have much of a sense of humour. But Elsie didn't care; she was there to work and support her mother and sister, not to make friends with the housekeeper._

_As the horse and cart turned the corner in the road, Elsie got her first glimpse of Downton Abbey and felt her voice catch in her throat as she let out a silent gasp. The place was stunning, with large grounds and sprawling countryside. It was nothing like the house she had just come from in Scotland._

_The trap led them round to the back of the house, which looked less grand than the front, and into the kitchen courtyard. Mrs Pembroke still said nothing to Elsie but ordered Mr Gordon, the cart driver, to bring the large suitcase into the house, whilst she led Elsie into her sitting room._

_'Have a seat,' she said sharply as she pointed to a small chair in the corner of the room. _

_Elsie looked around as she sat and thought the room looked cold and bare, with no pictures on the walls or homely touches. It certainly didn't look like she would have had it if she'd been the housekeeper, but since she wasn't then it made no sense to dwell on it too much._

_'You've been given good references I see from Mrs Mackay, she says you're a hard worker and that you were head house maid in your previous house. Aren't a bit old to still be a maid?' She said impertinently, which took Elsie quite by surprise. One trait she disliked most in a person was rudeness and her feisty Scottish blood certainly began to boil with the impertinence of this woman._

_'I have just turned thirty-three, if that makes me old then that is your opinion, but I don't see what my age has to do with my ability to do a job. Yes I was the head house maid at Cois na Farraige House, but I was also Lady's Maid to Lady Lyon as it was a smaller house.' Elsie defended as she tried to keep her tone calm, but the flare of her nostrils was an indication that she was not a woman to take things lying down. _

_'We'll give you a month's trial and no more. Find Matilda in the servants Hall and she'll show you around.' Mrs Pembroke said dismissively and left Elsie to her own devices._

_Elsie walked uncertainly back out into the cool corridor and looked around for the servant's hall, but it didn't take her long to realise where it was. She found two housemaids sat at a long table, one sewing the seam on her dress and the other reading a magazine._

_'Hello, I'm looking for Matilda.' She greeted._

_'I'm Matilda.' The maid who had been reading the magazine replied warmly. 'And who might you be?' She asked politely, a much different reception to the one she had been given by Mrs Pembroke._

_'I'm Elsie Hughes, the new Lady's Maid.' She said._

_'Well it's a pleasure to meet you Miss Hughes; this is Josephine one of our house maids and if you come with me I will show you around and introduce you to everyone.' Matilda said as she folded her magazine and put it on the sideboard._

_She first took Elsie into the kitchen and introduced her to the cook, Mrs Niven, and the kitchen maids and then Matilda headed out of the kitchen. Elsie was just about to follow her, but when she turned round to head out of the door, she came face to face with a very tall, peppered haired man, who almost knocked straight into her._

_'Oh I'm ever so sorry, please forgive me.' He said as he held onto Elsie's shoulders to steady her._

_'That's quite alright, no harm done; it will take more than that to knock me off my feet.' She replied with a small laugh as she looked up into his hazel coloured eyes._

_'I imagine it would.' He replied and felt a little ashamed of himself for being so taken by the young beauty in front of him, but at the sound of her Scottish brogue, he could feel his heart melt._

_'Miss Hughes this is Mr Carson our Under Butler, Mr Carson this is Miss Elsie Hughes our new Lady's Maid.' Matilda introduced and watched as the pair shook hands and that had been Elsie's first, but lovely, meeting with Mr Carson. _


	3. Chapter 3

Elsie was brought round from her memory by the sound of light tapping on her door and she expected it to be Ella, but was pleasantly surprised to see the very same pepper haired man she had just been thinking about. Of course he was a little older now, with a little more grey on top and a little rounder around the middle, but he was still just the same lovely man she had fallen in love with all those years ago.

'I hope you don't mind me coming to your bedroom Mrs Hughes, but I couldn't sit downstairs wondering how you were coping.' He said shyly.

'That's quite alright Mr Carson, I'm quite sure my reputation can stand to have you in my room.' She replied with a small laugh.

'How are you coping with it all?' He asked with great concern and felt so helpless as he saw the pain etched into her face, which he could see she was trying to hide from him.

'You and Ella need to stop worrying about me so much; I am absolutely fine…' She tried to say, but her voice did crack towards the end of the sentence and Mr Carson wasn't sure how he should react. He wanted to hold her in his arms and offer her protection, but he wasn't sure it was proper behaviour of a gentleman. At first he placed his hand on her shoulders as she began to sob.

'Might I hold you Mrs Hughes?' He asked quietly and it was an invitation she had been waiting for. She took a step forward and allowed him to envelope her in his strong arms which offered her more comfort and courage than he could ever have known.

He allowed her to sob into his chest, her hands pressed tightly against her face, as he very gently rocked them both a fraction. The top of her head sat snuggly under his chin and if the circumstances had have been more appropriate, they would have realised how natural their positioning was; it was just a shame that their first proper embrace was marred by such torment.

'I am sorry Mr Carson, what must you think of me?' She said as she tried to wipe her tears with her hands, but Mr Carson still didn't release his grip of her and she was glad to have him there with her.

'I think you are a very strong, courageous woman Mrs Hughes, who has been forced to be strong for too long regarding something that should never have happened to her in the first place. You had this situation forced upon you and you had to deal with it alone, but I'm here now and you will never have to deal with this alone again.' He replied in a hushed, comforting tone, but with a strong, manly hint to his voice, and he placed a gentle kiss to her temple, which she found particularly comforting.

But their tender moment was interrupted when there was another knock on the door, which made them reluctantly pull away from each other slightly, but they needn't have done, as this time it was Ella who walked in.

'Don't part on my account; I'm glad someone is here to comfort you Mam.' She said as she approached her mother and placed her arm around her waist and her forehead against Elsie's. Charlie stood on the other side of Elsie and kept his arm around her back and rubbed Ella's arm comfortingly.

'How did you get on with your parents? What did they have to say?' Elsie eventually asked.

'Perhaps we should take a seat for a while? I've got lots to tell you I'm afraid.' Ella replied as she indicated the chairs behind them.

'Would you rather speak to your mother alone?' Charlie asked.

'If Mam is comfortable with it, I would very much prefer you stay Charlie.' Ella said as she moved one of the little chairs closer to them.

'I would prefer you to stay Mr Carson; your support means a lot.' Elsie explained with a forced sort of smile as Ella took a deep breath.

'Well, I don't quite know how to break this to you Mam, but it is as we feared I'm afraid; Richard Crawley is indeed alive and he has returned to Downton, but there's a complication. He was injured some years ago and has no recollection of his life prior to it. He didn't know who he was or where he was from, so he fashioned himself a new life in New Zealand where he has been living as David Casey for the past twenty years.' Ella explained calmly and slowly, with no hint of emotion in her voice; now wasn't the time to become upset.

'So where is he now?' Elsie asked fearfully.

'On finding out that he is her son, Granny insisted that he move in with her. The problem is Mam, well one of many problems, is that he has no recollection of the events that happened here; he has no idea what he did to you or what pain his return has caused and as Granny doesn't know the truth either, she's oblivious to the pain his return has caused. She keeps pushing Papa to invite Aunt Rosamund up so they can have a welcome home dinner party.'

'Certainly not!' Charlie said sharply, which made both women jump slightly. 'I will not serve a man like that!' He spat.

'I quite agree Charlie and so do Mama and Papa, but he's finding it ever so difficult to come up with excuses to keep putting her off.'

Elsie had become very quiet and withdrawn from the conversation and couldn't contemplate what it was that she was hearing. She knew that if he came into the house she probably could avoid him, but the thought of being anywhere near the same vicinity as him turned her stomach.

It had taken her almost a decade to eradicate that man's face from her mind and during that time she had woken many a night in a cold sweat, plagued by nightmares of him. She had often laid awake wondering if he ever thought about her and about how he had ruined her life with his vile actions. She used to run every scene through her mind over and over again, wondering if there was something she should have done differently, perhaps she had done something to make him think that that was acceptable, but she knew that that wasn't the truth.

At the time of Richard Crawley's actions, Elsie had been making plans, big plans concerning her future, that would have changed her life forever, but afterwards, the attack changed her life in ways she could never have imagined.


	4. Chapter 4

_The grounds of Downton were surrounded by people from the village, stalls and various amusements. There were children laughing and people talking loudly and the sounds of stall holders shouting for people's custom. It was the first church fete Elsie had been to in Downton and she was quite enjoying being there, even if she was working on the refreshment stall with Mrs Niven and had to put up with Mrs Pembroke's constant interfering._

_She surreptitiously watched as Mr Carson skilfully lifted several boxes of wine glasses into one of the tents, but she didn't think that he had noticed her. She knew it was silly to think of him, he had his whole career ahead of him, so why on earth would he think about her? But she still found her mind wandering often when she saw him. Had she not been thinking about Mr Carson and had she been watching more of the events around her, she would have noticed that she had in fact caught the eye of another gentleman, a young farmer named Joe Burns._

_Joe had first seen her when she had served him some ginger beer and he thought about the wonderful smile she had. He didn't know much about the Abbey, but he certainly knew enough to know that she was new to the area._

_'I arrived here just under a month ago Mr Burns.' She'd said when he asked how long she'd been in Downton._

_'Well you're certainly not from around here, that's for sure.' He'd replied with a broad Yorkshire accent._

_'Oh really? What makes you think that?' She'd asked rhetorically with one eyebrow arched in amusement which he had laughed nervously at. He had then walked away to look at the other amusements, but he always stayed nearby and took any opportunity he could to speak to her._

_At the end of the day, as everyone else was leaving, Elsie began to pack away all of the preserves and drinks things that they had taken from the house. She was just about to lift one of the boxes from the table and put it on the ground when Joe ran over to her._

_'I'll do that for you; can't have you putting your back out.' He said and she felt a little put out by his comment._

_'Why? You think just because I'm a woman I can't manage any heavy lifting?' She joked feistily and then watched as Joe squirmed. _

_'No, it was just an excuse to come over here and talk to you actually.' He replied honestly._

_'Oh? And what exactly is it that you wanted to speak to me about?' She asked as she continued her tidying._

_'Well I wanted to know if you would come out with me some time. Perhaps I could buy you dinner in the Grantham Arms?' He asked as he fiddled with his cap held in his hands._

_Elsie felt a little taken aback by his request and she glanced behind Joe to Mr Carson, who had been watching them only a few minutes earlier, as he stacked several of the chairs that had been laid out. She thought about it for a few moments, which felt like an embarrassing eternity to Joe; really it was Mr Carson that she wanted to be having this conversation with, but as she watched him working hard and ordering some of the footmen to do some of the heavier lifting, she realised that it was a dream, just a silly dream that would never come true as he was married to his job and to the family he served. He would never want to be stuck with her, a feisty Scottish Lady's Maid with no other prospects other than that._

_'Alright, you may take me out; I have my afternoon off on Thursday. You can meet me in the courtyard at six o'clock and walk me into the village.' She said a little reluctantly._

_He was a very handsome young man and he did seem very kind, so she shouldn't have been giving him a hard time already, not before she'd really gotten to know him. So she did just that; she allowed him to take her to dinner on the Thursday night, where they chatted about their life and compared notes on English farming verses Scottish farming. He was impressed by her farming knowledge and she was impressed by his kind nature. He didn't seem chauvinistic like most men she'd met in her lifetime and he seemed genuinely very interested in her life, so she'd allowed him to take her out on a second date on her next day off and then a third and then a fourth. Soon they were stepping out together regularly and their courtship led to wedding speculation from Matilda._

_'So when do you think he'll propose?' _

_'Who says he intends to? Don't get me wrong, there's nothing improper in his behaviour, he has always been a gentleman to me, but perhaps he'll find some other, more suitable, girl to marry?' Elsie said as she fixed her hair in front of the mirror as she got herself ready to go out on another date with Joe._

_'Don't be thick Elsie, he's mad about you, and any fool can see that. Unless it is that you've got your heart set on someone else; a certain Under Butler perhaps?' Matilda said cheekily which made Elsie spin round sharply._

_'Whatever do you mean? My friendship with Mr Carson is strictly platonic thank you very much. He is a very kind man with high standards and expectations and he raises the tone of this house considerably. He will, one day, make a very good butler, but his ambition means that he has no place in his life for me or any other woman for that matter.' She chastised, with a strong and definite tone, which left Matilda in no doubt that she'd crossed a line._

_Elsie had now been at Downton for a couple of months and in that time she had built a good reputation for herself as a hard worker and loyal employee, but as someone not afraid to put you in your place if it required it. She was firm but fair._

_As she walked down the corridor towards the backdoor, Mrs Pembroke appeared at the doorway of her sitting room. As usual she looked most disapproving that Elsie was going out, but then again she seemed to disapprove of everything that Elsie did, even if there was no wrong in it._

_'I want you back here for ten o'clock and no later Miss Hughes. If you are not back by then, this door will get locked and you will have to sleep in the yard. Do you understand? We have to start preparations tomorrow for this hunt; his Lordship's brother and cousin will be arriving by train from Oxford tomorrow afternoon.' She explained before turning on her heel and marching back inside._

_Elsie shook her head at the crabby old woman and slipped out through the backdoor where Joe was already waiting for her in the yard. It was a lot cooler that it had been in months, as the summer began to give way to the autumn._

_'You took your time?' He said cheekily as his way of greeting her as they began to walk down the lane towards the village._

_'Well it's a woman's prerogative to be late.' She replied with a smile._

_They had another pleasant evening together, as she expected they would, and he did indeed return her to the house before ten o'clock, but he hesitated nervously before he bid her goodnight and she wondered at his hesitation._

_'What is it?' She asked._

_'Well, I've got something I'd like to ask you, but I don't want you to feel like you're under any obligation to answer me now.' He said as he gazed lovingly at her and she felt herself take a sharp gasp of air as she realised what was about to come. 'Elsie, will you be my wife?' _

_She was stunned by his question, even if she had been expecting it for a while, but she still didn't know how to answer him. _

_'I will certainly give it every consideration Joe; that I do promise.' She said and she really did mean it. _


	5. Chapter 5

Whilst Ella went up to speak with Elsie and Charlie about the latest developments, Robert, Cora and Mary were left in the library. Robert paced round the room, which was something he hadn't done in a long time, and Cora was very worried about how much strain he was under.

'Well the only blessing about all this is how well Ella seems to have taken it and, as awful it was at the time, I'm very glad she found out when she did.' Cora said, but to no one in particular; it was more the case that she was thinking out loud, but Robert did agree.

'Perhaps she's been able to come to terms with it over the last six months, but I know that she'll be keeping most of her feelings bottled up.' He said. 'The main problem now is how are we going to get rid of him and keep Mama from finding out?'

'That's our main problem is it? Well I can see a far bigger one; now that he has returned he will be heir to your title and to the estate, which means that Matthew will get passed over and we will be left with nothing!' Mary said angrily, but not as angry as her comment made Robert.

'Mary, your sister is going through hell at the moment and the only damn thing you are worried about is yours and Matthew's inheritance?' He spat with his voice raised, although he wasn't actually shouting.

'That's not exactly what I meant Papa…' She began to defend, but was interrupted when Thomas entered the room.

'The Dowager Countess and Mr Casey.' He announced as he allowed Violet and her son to enter past him, which turned the atmosphere of the room from icy to downright arctic.

'Mama we weren't expecting you,' Robert said as he kissed his mother on the cheek and then turned to his brother. 'It's a surprise to see you too Richard…or would you prefer I called you David now?' He added as he held his hand out to his brother reluctantly.

'I would prefer you called me David; sadly I have very few recollections of ever being Richard I'm afraid.' He said with a New Zealand accent.

'I don't believe you have met my eldest daughter Mary.' Robert replied as he awkwardly introduced them and Mary wasn't quite sure how to react.

'It's nice to meet you,' she lied as she held out her hand to him.

'Well it's lovely to finally get to spend time with you all.' David said.

'Well I'm afraid Mary was just leaving; I believe you and Ella had made plans to go out this afternoon?' Robert said which was greeted by a slightly confused look from Mary at first.

'Yes that's right; she was planning to come with me to collect some things for the new house.' She replied quickly and was pleased that this seemed to be accepted by everyone.

'That's quite alright my dear; you'll have plenty of time to spend together this evening. I've sent for Rosamund and demanded that she come at once. We'll have a dinner here tonight and cousin Isobel may join us.' Violet said and it no longer seemed possible to come up with an excuse, not without telling Violet the truth about exactly what had happened and what her son had done twenty five years earlier.


	6. Chapter 6

_Elsie walked quickly along the gallery carrying her Ladyship's dress for the evening. She had just been preparing it and repairing a couple of buttons that had come loose. Like everyone else, she was very busy making preparations for the arriving guests, who kept arriving in droves. The house was going to be full to breaking point at this rate. The only saving grace was the fact that Mr Richard Crawley and Mr James Crawley, the Earl's brother and cousin respectively, had arrived the previous day and were already settled in, which took a little of the load off. _

_As she walked towards her Ladyship's bedroom, she saw Richard flirting with Josephine, the house maid, who was giggling like a school girl in the playground. Neither had seen Elsie, but she certainly saw them and she gave a disapproving look as she watched him take Josephine by the hand and lead her into the bedroom._

_She may have been in service a long time, but she wasn't altogether naïve and she knew exactly what was going on and it certainly disgusted her. In her previous house any such behaviour wasn't tolerated, by staff, guests or the family and would have been dealt with accordingly by the Lady of the house. But in this instance it was none of Elsie's business, but he certainly had another thing coming if he thought that she'd be joining in._

_'Is everything alright Miss Hughes?' Mr Carson said in his usual deep rumble._

_'Yes, thank you Mr Carson; just preparing her Ladyship's dress.' She replied as she showed him the dress in her hands. He gave her a curt nod and then strolled off in the opposite direction to the one she was headed and didn't realise that she was watching him as he walked away; and what she didn't realise was that he was watching her once he had turned the corner._

_Elsie continued to go about her work and put what she saw to the back of her mind; she didn't think about it at all until late that evening. Everyone else had gone to bed and she had just finished dressing Cora for the night. She took her Ladyship's clothes downstairs to be pressed when she saw Richard Crawley wandering round the servants' hall._

_'Can I help you Mr Crawley?' She asked with a stern tone, knowing full well what it was he was after but he didn't seem particularly flustered at being caught out._

_'No thank you; I was just looking for one of your maids, but it seems that she has already gone to bed.' He replied casually as he left the servant's hall and walked towards the stairs where Elsie was standing; he stood right in front of her, a little too closely for her liking. 'You're new here, aren't you? I don't recall seeing you here on my last visit.' He said._

_'Yes Sir, I started in March as Lady Grantham's Lady's Maid.' She explained politely, but with a certain weary tone to her voice._

_'Well then, I look forward to seeing you around.' Richard replied suggestively as he sidled past Elsie, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She certainly didn't like him and made a mental note to keep an eye on him._


	7. Chapter 7

'Papa I can't be in the same room as that man, I just can't! Please don't make me! He is horrid and vile and I can't bear to think…' Ella paused as she began to sob. 'I don't want to have to sit opposite him and be reminded of the fact that I am the bastard product of a heinous crime that he committed!' She said angrily and it was the first time Robert had heard her refer to herself in such a harsh term and he didn't know what to say to her as he watched her sobbing.

He had called her into the drawing room as soon as she had returned from her trip with Mary and had broken the news to her about her grandmother's plans for the evening, which, of course, had not gone down too well.

'Oh my little one is that honestly what you think? Has your mother and I raised you to think so little of yourself?' He said as he moved from his position by the fire onto the seat beside her.

'Well it's true Papa; I have spent six months trying to come to terms with this element of my life and it's the one thing I just can't. I've come to terms with the fact that naturally you and Mama are not my parents, I've come to terms with the fact that Mrs Hughes is and I've come to terms with the relationship I now have with all three of you. But I cannot and will not come to terms with the fact that he is my natural father and I certainly will not accept him into my home and into my life!' Ella said forcefully.

'My darling I do not expect you to accept him into your life; I want him here as little as you do. But until I can think of a way to get rid of him from our lives for good, I have to put a brave face on it for your grandmother's sake.' Robert explained.

Ella sat and thought about it for a long time as she rested her head against her father's shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her. She didn't often get to enjoy these moments with him, as it wasn't the kind of thing an English gentleman did, but she very much enjoyed them when they did. Both she and Robert probably wouldn't have admitted it outside the room, but Ella was a daddy's girl through and through, which made the arrival of Robert's brother all the more difficult.

The fact that she was so accepting of Elsie into her life as her mother was no reflection of her relationship with Cora, as she was exceptionally close to her too; but it was the fact that Elsie had had the situation thrust upon her, forced to become a mother after something so vile had been done to her and the fact that after all that she had been put through, she had still fallen so madly in love with her baby; that was what made it so easy for Ella to accept her. It was also this that made her so fiercely protective of her now.

'I do not expect you to sit with him, or be anywhere near him for that matter; I can make your excuses at dinner, I'll tell them that you have a headache and I'll send a tray up to your room.' Robert said as he tried to figure out a way to protect his daughter and his mother.

'No, it's alright Papa, I could possibly do this for granny's sake, if I absolutely have to; it isn't her fault that he did what he did and it would destroy her to find out the truth. So I will come to dinner to keep up appearances, for her sake, but not for his.' She replied bravely and Robert admired her for her courage.

'Are you quite sure my little one? Your mother and I do not expect you to sit with us if you don't want to. We do completely understand.' He reasoned, fearing that she may only want to come down to dinner as a sense of duty; something neither Robert nor Cora expected of her.

'I'm quite sure Papa; I can be strong enough to do this.'

'I'm quite sure you are my darling.'

'However, you cannot ask Ma…Mrs Hughes, to stay in the same house with the man who attacked her and Mr Carson would do something he would later regret if he was allowed anywhere near him.' She explained calmly as she wiped her tears from her face.

'Carson, but what's he got to do with any of this?' Robert asked with astonished confusion.

'Oh that's right you don't know; but it's not really my secret to tell, although I feel that I must to protect them both.' Ella said as she contemplated her dilemma, but she felt that her father needed to know all of the facts so that she could truly defend her mother and future step-father. 'After Larry Grey's outburst at the dinner, just before Mary's wedding, Mr Carson figured out that it is Mrs Hughes that is my mother and when he asked her about it she confided in him. They've always been exceptionally close, which is partly why I wanted them to come with Henry and me and because it also meant that, away from Downton and away from their duties, they were able to finally declare their love for each other and he asked her to marry him, which she of course accepted.'

'Good Lord, did he really?' Robert said, rather shocked to discover this piece of news, but he was a little pleased for the two stoic members of staff. However, it did now pose an additional problem to the already volatile situation.

'He did and he will do anything to protect her and her honor Papa.' Ella explained with the tiniest of smiles. She didn't want Charlie to get into trouble, but she was a little pleased that her mam was in good, safe hands at least.

'I don't think there's anything more I can do about the dinner tonight I'm afraid my little one, but I'll sit you next to me tonight and keep you away from him as much as possible, and perhaps you can find a way for Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes to go out for the evening. As they are to be married anyway I'm sure they won't mind.' Robert explained and, even though the situation wasn't great, both he and Ella felt a little bit better than they had done. Now all Ella had to do was break the news to Charlie and Elsie.

She rehearsed exactly what she was going to say in her head as she walked up the back passages to the servants' sleeping quarters in the attics. She had instructed both Elsie and Charlie to stay upstairs and out of the way for the day. She didn't want her mam to hear what was going on from the other servants and she wanted Charlie to keep her company, whilst also keeping him from finding out something that she wanted to tell him first; just like the piece of news she was about to deliver.

As she had done before, she knocked on the door before letting herself in, where she was glad to see both her mam and Charlie still sat waiting for her. They had a pot of tea between them, but they still looked very grave.

'What did his Lordship have to say?' Elsie asked apprehensively.

'Granny has insisted that we have a dinner party for him, here at the house, tonight. We tried putting her off Mam, but Papa has run out of excuses and Granny is having none of it. She's just so happy to have her son back that she wants to celebrate.' Ella explained as she sat down on Elsie's bed and Elsie poured her a fresh cup of tea, but her hands began to shake slightly at the sound of Ella's words.

'I hope his Lordship doesn't expect me to serve him! I would much rather resign than have to face the likes of him!' Charlie spat angrily.

'Well I certainly won't be having that Mr Carson; I have told him that you will not serve him, but I had to tell him the reasons why; I know you wanted to tell him yourselves about your engagement, but I couldn't avoid telling him, I hope you don't mind too much.'

'Under the circumstances I don't mind, but what are we to do?' Charlie asked.

'Well Papa and I have talked about what should happen, because I don't want to put you through having him in the house Mam. So I had a thought. As you know we've been renovating some of the old farm cottages on the estate and there's one that's just about finished; I have access to the keys so you can both go there for the evening. It might be nice for you both to spend some time together and also it will keep you out of the way of him.' She explained, completely unsure of the reaction she would get.

'And what about you?' Elsie asked with concern.

'I wish I could be there with you, but I have to stay here to keep up appearances.' Ella replied with a grimace.

'Surely there has to be another way?' Charlie defended. He wanted neither of his girls to be anywhere near this man.

'I wish there was Mr Carson, but if I disappear then Granny will want to know why I am not at dinner and if she starts asking awkward questions then Papa might just have to tell her the truth. So I will have to grin…grin and bear it.' Ella said as tears began to well up in her eyes and her voice faltered. 'I won't even have Henry to support me; he's been called away to deliver Mrs Jack's baby, so he could be hours.' She added as realised that she wouldn't even have the help and support of her husband and she allowed her choked sobs to be released.

She covered her face with her hands and then felt the bed beside her sink lower as the weight of someone joined her and they wrapped their arm around her shoulders. She had expected it to be her mam, but when she glanced up it was Charlie who was comforting her.

'This is most unfair on you Ella, most unfair.' He whispered softly, hiding his true feelings of anger. His paternal instincts were kicking in furiously now and he felt so protective of the beautiful, kind young woman he now held in his arms. 'Perhaps I should stay after all and give you moral support.'

'No Mr Carson, I want you to stay with Mam,' she whispered and then glanced over to her mother. 'You will need his support far more than I will.'

The three of them sat in silence for a few moments, but Charlie still kept a firm grasp on Ella, wishing he could remove her pain and that of her mother as well. He couldn't really imagine what either of them must be feeling and especially his Elsie.

'I feel as if I have failed you as your mother.' Elsie said after a long time and so quietly that it was almost inaudible.

'You could never fail me Mam; you've made so many sacrifices…'

'But I've failed to protect you from this; I made the sacrifices so that you would never be hurt by him or by my secret, but I failed to shield you from the truth and I've now failed in keeping him from you.' She said as she allowed herself a choked.

Ella removed herself from Charlie's arms and knelt beside Elsie, wrapped her into a tight embrace and rested her head against her shoulder. The beautiful time they'd shared together in London, was beginning to feel like a distant memory, as all the pain and torment that they had both endured on and off over the past six months returned. They were both beginning to feel that they would never be allowed to move on from this. After a while Ella sat back slightly and took Elsie's hands in hers and looked up into her face.

'Mam, you are one of the bravest people I know and I am so proud of you, so very proud. I don't know of many people who would have been strong enough to give me up and then be so close to me, but so far removed from the role that you should have been in. That took more courage and strength than anyone could possibly imagine and in my eyes that is not a failure. I am so proud to call you my mother and I can't wait to see what lovely things our future holds.' Ella said, which, in some respects, made Elsie cry all the more.

'Oh Ella, I sometimes forget that you're a strong young woman and not my gorgeous wee girl anymore.' She said with a smile and it amazed her to think that someone so beautiful could have come from someone as vile as Richard Crawley.


	8. Chapter 8

_The day after Elsie's encounter with Richard, she had put the incident behind her; she had another man on her mind. She still wasn't certain about the answer she would give to Joe when she next saw him and wasn't certain why she was hesitating. She did love him, that much was true, but there was something holding her back from him and she couldn't put her finger on it. She guessed that it may have been because she was struggling with the idea of giving up her independence to become a farmer's wife, a life that she thought she'd left behind a long time ago._

_She had agreed to meet with him the day after the shooting party's departure, once the house was quiet again and their workload had been lightened considerably. At least that gave her another five days to think about her answer. But for now, she needed to concentrate on her work and, in this instance, returning her Ladyship's freshly pressed dress to Lady Grantham's bedroom._

_As she was walking out of the green door and into the gallery, she saw Richard Crawley coming out of his bedroom with Marion, one of the younger maids. She sighed and shook her head slightly, but she continued to walk in the opposite direction and into her Ladyship's bedroom. She made a mental note to look through Cora's coats, as she remembered that Cora had mentioned to her that there was a hole in the pocket of one of them, but she couldn't remember which one and as far as she was concerned, her mind was firmly on her work; which was something Richard Crawley had other ideas about._

_'You can feel free to rifle through my pockets like that any time you like!' He said as he hovered in the doorway to the bedroom and had made Elsie jump nearly out of her skin._

_She wasn't entirely sure how to respond to such comments as to say what she really wanted was likely to get her the sack, but she certainly wasn't willing to let him get the better of her._

_'Mr Crawley if there is nothing appropriate that I can help you with then I will request that you allow me to continue with my work, as I have a lot to be getting on with.' She said firmly._

_'Really? You don't fancy a lie down for a bit?' He said with a low voice as he took a step forward, which made her feel rather nervous, but all conversation was at an end when Cora arrived and Elsie was delighted to see her._

_'Richard what are you doing here?' Cora asked with surprise and a little suspicion._

_'Oh I was just speaking to your maid about today's shoot. Am I right in saying that you won't be joining us?' He asked as Cora led him away from the gallery and Elsie gave a sigh of relief. That man was repulsive and he really set her teeth on edge, but she was greatful to now be free of him, but this constant innuendo and inappropriate comments continued, until it turned into a little more than just comments on the second last day of the party._

_Once again Elsie was taking items to and from her Ladyship's room and just as she was about to disappear through the door to the servants' hall, Richard blocked her path._

_'Excuse me please Mr Crawley, I need to be getting my work done and I am afraid I don't have time…' She began to say, but he cut her objections off as he pinned her roughly against the door and placed one hand on her backside and trailed his other hand down her neck and over her chest._

_'Wouldn't you much rather have a good time with me instead? All work and no play make Jill a very dull girl and Jack needs to have his fun.' He growled into her ear, but the sound soon became something else as he quickly retreated from her, clutching his groin and almost doubling in pain. 'You'll pay for that you bitch!' He spat angrily, but she didn't shy away from him, she stood her ground._

_'Not as much as you will if you touch me again; I mean it, come near me again and I will tell his Lordship!' She said angrily before disappearing through the door, where she retreated up into the attics._

_Although she didn't want to admit it, her experience had frightened her. She could feel the strength and power that he had and even though she was feisty and was good with her knee, she certainly wasn't a match for him and she knew that, but so did he. She was just very grateful that she only had one more day to put up with it. _


	9. Chapter 9

Ella walked with Elsie and Charlie to the little farm cottage and delighted in showing them in. It wasn't quite complete yet, but it was looking much more homely than it had done when they had first started renovating it. From the outside the garden needed weeding and new grass planting, but with that done, a rose arch over the gate and plants and flowers in the beds, the garden would look most presentable and Charlie had to pull himself up as he thought about the things he would do to it. He had to remind himself that he was only there for a night.

Inside everything was freshly painted white and the smell still lingered in the air. But neither Charlie nor Elsie minded it. The house was beautiful and a proper little sanctuary away from it all. Ella had asked one of the ground's men to light the fire in preparation for their arrival, which was now roaring in the fire place and emanating the most luxurious glow. There was one very old looking sofa beside the fire, a couple of rickety dining room chairs, a small occasional table and an empty bookcase in the corner.

'I know it's not a lot, but it'll do for a few hours I hope. When everyone has gone I'll come back down and get you. Papa is going to try to get rid of them as soon as he can.' Ella explained.

'It's fine Ella, but I wish you would stay here with us.' Elsie replied nervously as she held on to her daughter's elbows.

'I know you do Mam, I wish I could stay here with you too, but you know that I can't. I have to do this for Papa and Granny's sakes, not my own.' Ella explained bravely.

'Well if it gets too much for you, excuse yourself and come straight here.' Charlie added in a fatherly tone. He was just as concerned about Ella as Elsie was and felt annoyed at his Lordship for putting Ella in this position.

'I will Mr Carson and in the meantime, you two enjoy your evening together. Look at it as practice for when you're married.' She replied with a cheeky smile.

She then left the cottage with a heavy heart, wishing that she had stayed with them instead of having to brave the storm that waited for her at the house. At least she felt a little more comfortable that Elsie was away from the house and in the company of a man who loved her and would protect her. She just hoped and prayed that they would be able to relax and enjoy themselves and not be worrying about what was going on at the dinner.

By the time she got back to the house everyone was starting to arrive. Isobel was there along with Rosamund, who looked as comfortable about their circumstances as everyone else did.

'My darling Goddaughter, why don't you come sit next to me?' She asked as Ella walked into the drawing room.

'Hello Aunt Rosamund,' Ella said as she approached her aunt with a genuine smile and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

'How are you my dear?' Rosamund asked softly.

'As well as can be expected; but I have to remember that I am doing this for Granny, certainly not him.' Ella replied in a whisper.

'Well you are to sit between me and your father and that man will be at the other end of the table, as far away from you as possible. With any luck we can get through dinner together.' Rosamund replied as she placed her hand over Ella's, just as the door opened and Thomas entered.

'The Dowager Countess and Mr Casey.' He announced and David walked in with his mother on his arm. Violet looked delighted to have her youngest son beside her and to have her whole family there to celebrate.

'Hello Mama,' Robert said as he gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. 'David,' he added as he gave a slight nod of his head, but rather stiffly.

'Come along and let me introduce you to my granddaughters. This is Edith, Robert and Cora's second daughter,' Violet said as she led David over to where Edith was talking with Matthew and Mary. 'And then their twins Sybil and Aurelia.' She said as she took him over towards the back of the room, where Ella had been trying to avoid him as much as possible.

She felt all the eyes of her family turn to her and give her worrying glances. She looked at him intently and felt her heart plummet to the floor as she observed his honey coloured hair, which was starting to become much lighter in his later years, he had the defined Crawley chin much like her own and he was very tall and still quite slim. It wasn't something that she'd thought about before, but she realised that she must get her height from him, as she was in fact three or four inches taller than her mother. The similarities between them made her feel sick and she struggled to find the words to speak to him.

'Well aren't you going to say anything to your uncle?' Violet said sharply; keen that they should all be accepting of her son.

'What? Oh, yes, of course; please forgive me Granny, it's just that I'm not used to addressing someone who should be dead.' Ella replied coldly and very unlike herself. She chastised herself for her blatant rudeness and gave herself a warning.

'Aurelia, whilst I know that this situation is most unusual, there is no need for such rudeness. Now apologise to your uncle.' Violet rebuked.

'You're quite right Granny; I apologise to you Uncle, you must think me terribly rude.' She said as she held out her hand to him and her tone was much more like her usual self, but it took every bit of effort she had to do so.

As Violet walked away with David to introduce him to Isobel and Rosamund, Ella felt Sybil wrap her arms through hers, as Ella sunk a little into her embrace.

'Oh Aurie I'm so sorry; I can't imagine how hard this is for you.' She whispered.

'I'll be fine Sybbie; I've got to be fine, for Mam and for Granny…and for Papa too.' Ella replied. 'Just make sure you're sat opposite me at dinner.'

When it was time to go through Ella was glad that Violet went in first with David and that Robert led her in last. She felt glad that her grandmother looked very happy, as it meant that all her pain was worth it just for that, but she did pray for strength and that dinner might be over as quickly as possible, just as the first course arrived.

In the cottage Elsie and Charlie sat together staring into the flames. If anyone was to look in through the windows, they might have thought their positioning on the sofa most improper, but after all of their experiences together, they no longer seemed to care about propriety; they just cared about each other and Charlie especially cared about comforting and caring for his Elsie, no matter what.

She was sat with her shoes off and her feet up on the sofa beside her, with her head resting between his shoulder and chest. He had one arm draped around her and he was holding her hand with his other. They were trying to concentrate on their future together, rather than dwelling on Elsie's past and on what was happening up at the Abbey, which did take a lot of the strength Elsie had left.

'Now that we're home we should consider setting a date for our ceremony.' Charlie said.

'If Ella were to have her way she'd have us both up the aisle tomorrow.' Elsie replied with a happy laugh.

'Yes I believe you're right there. It's nice to know that she's so very supportive of us, I just hope the rest of the family are as responsive.' He replied with a slightly creased brow.

'Why? Do you think they won't be?'

'Well, it's not common place for a butler and a housekeeper to be married whilst in service and not usually to each other…that is, if you still want us to be at Downton?' He asked with concern. If he was honest, he couldn't imagine being anywhere other than the house, then again, he'd never imagined himself as a married man either.

'Well, where else would we be? It's where my daughter is, she's one of the only reasons I stay; unless you have something else in mind?' She asked apprehensively at his answer.

'I wouldn't do anything that would separate you from your daughter, I think you've both had enough of that; but have you never thought of your life in retirement and about what you would do after Downton?' He asked.

'I've never really thought about retiring because, well, because I can't retire. Do you remember, when we were in London I told you about my sister Becky?' She asked and received a curt nod from Charlie. 'Well whilst my mother was alive she took care of her, but when she died Becky and I had no one except each other. So my choice was simple, either I gave up working to look after her, which would have meant us living on a pittance and me giving up any contact with my daughter, or I went on working and gave every penny I could spare to pay for her to be cared for.' She explained.

'But that must have cost you a fortune!' He exclaimed.

'It has cost me every penny I have, so I have no savings, I'll have no pension and I must go on working for as long as the Crawley family will let me. It was a decision I had come to terms with a long time ago Mr Carson, so please, don't feel sorry for me.' She explained.

'Well it's very clear where Ella gets her compassion from.' He said with a troubled smile.

Back at the house, the main course was just about to be brought out, but Ella had very little appetite. She felt sick to the pit of her stomach and had very little room for food. Her family kept looking at her furtively, especially every time David spoke and even though Violet had no idea what was really going on, she had occasionally caught sight of these glances.

'So what exactly is it that you do in New Zealand David?' Isobel asked as she tried to make casual conversation. Robert had paid her the courtesy of bringing her fully into their secret, some days after it was confirmed that David was in fact Richard Crawley. Naturally she was stunned to discover Ella's natural paternity, but she had promised to protect her along with the rest of her family and to protect Violet too.

'I run my own carpentry business, well I inherited it from my wife's father; she was an only child and we only have daughters.' He explained casually, but at his words about his children the atmosphere in the room changed quickly and everyone glanced at Ella.

'You…you have children?' Ella asked as her voice faltered and she looked down the table towards him.

'Yes, three girls; Abigail, aged thirteen, Charlotte, she's ten and little Roberta who has just turned four.' He explained proudly, but Ella's face turned whiter with every word he spoke.

She felt her father take her hand under the table, but it held no comfort for her on this occasion. The little appetite that she did have seemed to leave her completely and she could no longer bear to be in David's company or try to hide how she felt.

'Mama, Papa, I'm afraid I have rather a headache; will you excuse me?' She said as she stood from her place and all of the men stood with her.

'Of course darling, is there anything I can do? Perhaps I can send something up for you?' Cora asked with concern.

'No thank you Mama, I'm afraid I've rather lost my appetite; I'm sure I'll be fine once I have rested.' She said before parting from the room and Robert briefly gave a very controlled, but angry look towards Cora which said so much in one emotion; he was angry at himself for putting his child in that position in the first place.

As soon as Ella went up to her room, she grabbed her coat and hat and headed out into the night. She wanted to be as far away from the house as possible and as far away from Richard Crawley or David Casey or whatever his damn name was.

Since his return into their lives, she had never once thought about the possibility of him having a family or that she might have other siblings. She understood that it wasn't their fault that their father was a vile, cruel being who had taken someone so beautiful and almost destroyed her completely. When Ella thought about what Elsie must have gone through, long before Ella had become part of the equation, she wondered how Elsie could possibly have coped and admired her strength and courage even more.

As she approached the little cottage she thought about how homely it looked, with its chimney billowing smoke and the warm glow of lights flickering through the window. Every now and then a shadow would pass in front of it, as Elsie or Charlie walked past. She hoped and prayed that, even though they were in the house to avoid being at the Abbey, they had had a much more pleasant evening than hers and she hoped that they enjoyed the house; she had big plans for that house eventually.

'Might I come in?' She said once she was through the front door.

'You're back awfully early; did you manage alright?' Elsie asked as she practically leapt from her chair by the fire and rushed to her daughter's side.

'I had to leave early; I just couldn't take being in his company a second longer.' Ella replied as she took off her hat and coat.

'Come sit by the fire; I knew I should never have let you go back up there, I knew it would be too much for you.' Elsie said as she forced Ella on to the sofa. 'What happened?'

'Nothing you need to worry about Mam,' Ella said as she tried to brush it off, but her mother knew her better than that.

'Ella, tell me what happened.' Elsie said firmly.

'He has a family, over in New Zealand; a wife and three daughters.' Ella said with great sadness.

Both Elsie and Charlie glanced at each other and felt Ella's pain and it also hurt Elsie to think of the man who had attacked her, could have moved on so easily and led a happy life. He didn't deserve to be happy and to leave her and her daughter in such turmoil. She sat beside Ella and didn't say a word to her; after all, what could you say to that?

She placed her arm around her shoulders and pulled her head towards her own. Charlie didn't know really how to comfort either of them, but he still tried, by placing his hands on to Elsie's shoulders and rubbing them very gently with his thumbs.

The three of them sat together in silence for many hours until it was nearly midnight. By this time Ella felt sure that they would be safe to return home and they all reluctantly began the walk home. Both Elsie and Ella clasped tightly on to Charlie as they walked the dark, yet familiar roads until they saw the lights of the house looming in the distance.

'Now Ella, you've to go straight to your bed when we get in; you look exhausted and you'll make yourself ill if you try to burn the candle at both ends.' Elsie said as they approached the front door.

'You worry far too much you know Mam.' Ella whispered her reply as they walked into the glare of the entrance hall, just as they heard voices coming from the library. 'Oh I wonder if Henry is home!' She exclaimed in hope, but felt her heart stop completely as the door to the library opened and Robert walked out with Violet and David.

Charlie had been helping Elsie to take her coat off when they both looked up to see David standing in the doorway to the library, bold as brass. Elsie felt her knees weaken beneath her as she looked at the face that had tormented her for years and she felt Charlie's hand discreetly around her middle as he helped to steady her. As soon as Ella saw David, she instinctively took a step to the side so that she was now standing in front of her mam, as if she was trying to shield her from view, but it was too late for Elsie; the sight of him suddenly brought to mind her worst nightmares.


	10. Chapter 10

_It was the final day of the shooting party and the servants were all glad that the week was nearly over. Once their guests were gone they would jump to action to clean the house and put it back into its usual state. Elsie was especially glad for the guests to leave, as Richard Crawley would be leaving with the rest of them and he would no longer be able to torment and harass her. She felt relieved that she could walk around the house freely, now that all of the guests were out shooting, as it meant that she could get her jobs done without constantly looking over her shoulders._

_The other maids were busy preparing the house for the party that night, as Mr Carson supervised the hall boys as they lifted the carpet in the entrance hall, as Elsie stood on the gallery and watched them discreetly._

_She could feel her heart beating furiously beneath her ribs as she watched him and she knew that she loved him, but it was never going to be and she couldn't dwell on it any longer. Mr Carson was on his way to becoming the next butler of Downton, and a very good job he will make of it, she thought; he would never give up on all this for her and her experiences with Richard Crawley was the final straw that had helped her to make her decision about Joe._

_She did love him as well and she knew that he loved her and would protect her. She was due to meet him for lunch the next day and then she would give him her answer, that she would be honoured to become his wife, Mrs Elsie Burns._

_Later that evening, as the dressing gong was rung, Elsie made her way up to her Ladyship's room to help her dress. She had spent most of the afternoon repairing Cora's pale pink dress, with its high neck line and long sleeves. It was intricately decorated with thousands of beads, some of which Elsie had to replace and sew back on to the dress to make it look presentable. She was very good with a needle and thread, as taught to her by her mother when she was a young child._

_'Is everything alright Milady?' She asked once they were alone together in the bedroom._

_'Yes, thank you, Miss Hughes; but I wanted to speak with you about Lord Grantham's brother and about what I saw the other day. I want you to know that if anyone in this house, guest or servant ever does anything to make you feel uncomfortable or anything against your will, then I will not tolerate it. I want you to know that I run a respectable and civilised home, where no member of this household, servant or family member, will be subject to such behaviour.' Cora said, which took Elsie quite by surprise._

_'Thank you Milady; I will bare that in mind.' She replied as she then started brushing Cora's hair and nothing further was said on the matter, but Elsie would soon regret not saying anything._

_The party downstairs was beginning to pick up pace as guests arrived downstairs for their dinner, dressed in their finery and enjoying the music from the string quartet, which was filtering up to Elsie, who was still in Cora's room. Cora had gone downstairs to join her husband and party guests, leaving Elsie to organise her clothes for the next day._

_Elsie was also in the process of turning Cora's bed down for the night in preparation for her late bedtime, it meant that it was one less job for her to do later._

_'You know, no one has ever turned down my bed before.' Richard said as he hovered in the doorway of Cora's bedroom and the sound of his voice made the hair on Elsie's neck stand up and sent a shiver down her spine._

_'Mr Crawley, I have already warned you; do not try me. The other maids might be willing to indulge you, but I certainly am not. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to be returning downstairs.' She said as she made her way round the bed and tried to push passed him, but he grabbed her arms and pushed her back, forcing her on to the bed._

_He took a few steps forward and slammed the door behind him. She felt her heart racing and she was frightened for what was about to come, but she made one last attempt to escape him, as she tried to lunge past him once more, but this time he pushed her so hard that she hit the corner of the bed and fell right over, landing on the floor with a thud and hurting her back. She tried to get up as he advanced towards her, smiling sinisterly with a manic, playful look in his eyes. As she tried to stand he grabbed her again, but this time he took her by the throat and slammed her into the wall, smashing her head against it and leaving her reeling and seeing stars behind her eyes. _

_Now dazed and weak she was powerless to stop him. She felt him drag her to the floor and pull at her clothing. The pain from her head caused her to black out, a small mercy in some respects, but the last thing she remembered seeing, was his face looming above her._


	11. Chapter 11

Elsie was rooted to the spot as she stared at David. He had hardly changed at all in the twenty five years since that awful night.

Robert stood just behind David and looked at Ella as she stood in front of her mother. He had never seen her with such a look of hate on her face as she had now, but he couldn't speak or do anything as he looked from him to her and then to poor Elsie.

'Robert what exactly is going on here? You have all been acting strangely all night and I demand to know what this is all about!' Violet demanded.

Ella held her hand behind her back and clasped Elsie's in hers, to try and offer her what little comfort that she could.

'Papa this isn't appropriate; I need to get Mrs Hughes up stairs.' Ella said firmly and Robert quite agreed.

'Of course Ella.' He said, but before she could move, Elsie's knees buckled and she was grateful that Charlie was standing behind her, to catch her.

Ella was quick to react and helped Charlie to lead her over to the bench by the stairs.

'Mrs Hughes are you quite alright?' Robert asked with genuine concern; but Ella was furious.

'Of course she isn't alright Papa. We should never have been put into this situation in the first place!' She spat angrily as she glanced angrily in David's direction, who looked utterly bewildered by this turn of events, but Violet had become very quiet as a few things began to fall into place.

'Mam everything will be alright, I promise; I'm right here beside you. Just take really deep breaths for me, nice and slowly.' Ella said kindly as she knelt in front of her mam and still clasped her hands tightly. 'Mr Carson, might I ask that you fetch a glass of water?' She asked and watched as he disappeared quickly, but he gave a very angry glare towards Robert and then to David as he walked past them.

Ella soothingly trailed her hand down Elsie's cheek as she tried to relax her as much as she could and even though she was some comfort to her, nothing could stop her heart from beating painfully in her chest. She was as white as a sheet and there were beads of sweat forming on her brow. With the stress she was under, Ella was terrified that she was about to have a stroke or a heart attack and she was desperate to do anything to prevent that from happening.

'It's alright Mam, you're safe with me; I won't let anything bad happen to you, I promise. We'll get through this together, alright?' Ella said quietly as she tried again to calm her and she no longer tried to refer to her mother by her title; she didn't care whether or not Robert approved, as she felt angry at him for allowing this situation to occur. In her mind, David should never have been allowed back inside the house.

'Do you think someone might let us in on what is going on? Why did your daughter just refer to that woman as her mother? And Mama is right, there has been quite an atmosphere tonight; I demand to know what is going on!' David said with a raised and frustrated voice, which sounded a lot like Robert.

Ella took a very deep and controlled breath, just as Mr Carson returned with the water and sat beside Elsie. Ella then stood up and took a few steps towards her grandmother and uncle.

'All of us have things in our past that we would much rather forget; you lost all if your past and were given a second chance to build your life, perhaps it is better that your past, therefore, stays lost. You have a family now and a new life; I strongly suggest that you return to it and never come back here again.' Ella said quite calmly and no one could believe that she could still be so compassionate at such a time, to want to protect him from himself.

'Good God!' Violet exclaimed in grief as she raised her hand to her mouth, finally realising the final piece if Ella's jigsaw.

'Now you really do have to tell me what is going on. What is it that I did? Please tell me. I came here to find out who I once was, so tell me, why do you hate me so?' David asked and he clearly feared the answer, but he needed to know.

There was an awkward silence from everyone for a few moments until only one voice was heard, that gave so much emotion in one simple sentence, but one that took a lot of courage to say it.

'Because you are her father; that's why.' Elsie said with a quiver in her voice as she looked straight into the eyes of her attacker.


	12. Chapter 12

_Weeks after her attack, Elsie was still a nervous wreck and racked with guilt and torment about what had happened to her. She felt so violated, unclean and degraded and nothing she did could change it. Immediately after it had happened she had locked herself into the bathroom for hours as she scrubbed at her skin until she was raw and all the water had grown cold, but she still felt dirty._

_Every ounce of happiness she had felt beforehand had gone and she no longer had anything to look forward to. All she could do was let her lack of self-worth consume her, as she certainly had nothing and no one to help her. _

_She had met with Joe Burns as she had promised him, but she was a former shell of herself and she turned down his proposal, much to his shock and dismay and she could give him no reason for her answer. She had walked away and left him in the middle of the village square, staring after her as she marched back towards the house. Once she was sure she was out of sight she finally allowed herself to sob until she couldn't shed any more tears. _

_She hated being in her Ladyship's room afterwards and conducted her tasks as quickly as possible. Cora noticed the difference in the older woman's behaviour and was concerned for her, but when she'd asked Elsie what was troubling her, Elsie gave her no indications of what her problems really were. _

_Her only relief from her painful reminders came when Lord and Lady Grantham decided to take a journey to America. She had always wanted to travel and now was her big chance. She would be gone for months, which meant that it would be a long time before she would have to face Downton again._

_Everything was organised weeks in advanced and the tickets purchased for the ship. Away from Downton, Elsie felt a little more relaxed, but she still felt a little nervous. So nervous, in fact, that she felt a nauseous. _

_'Is everything alright Hughes? You look as white as a sheet!' Cora said a few days into the journey. _

_'Yes thank you Milady; just a touch of sea sickness. I've never travelled by ship before, so my stomach isn't used to it. I'm sure I'll settle in a few days once we dock.' But the sickness didn't pass, if anything it got worse. _

_At first she kept trying to ignore all of her symptoms, the sickness, her sore breasts and the fact that she was now nearly three months late. All the symptoms were there, but she didn't want to believe it. That was until Cora's concern grew to the point where she had to insist that Elsie saw a doctor. _

_'Miss Hughes, you are pregnant.' The doctor said bluntly and he emphasised her title. 'About three months I would say.' He added as he gave a very disapproving glance to her left hand, which she quickly pulled away and hid under the desk. _

_His bluntness towards her hurt had annoyed her the most about her new situation. How dare he judge her when he had no idea what she had been through and what she was about to go through. _

_When she returned to the Levinson House she made her excuses and went straight to her bed, advising that she had quite a migraine. She laid on her back and stared at the ceiling for hours, running her hand over her stomach, where her unborn baby was now growing. _

_She had expected to feel repulsed by this latest development, but she didn't. There was only one possible father to her child, as Richard Crawley had been the only man; but no matter how much that thought occurred to her, she just couldn't bring herself to blame her child. All she felt now was fierce maternal protection and for the first time in months, she was actually looking forward to something and her pregnancy gave her something that she hadn't felt in a long time, hope. _

_But her maternal instincts posed her many questions about what she was going to do about her bairn and about how she was going to protect it. The doctor's response to her summed up everything that her life would be from now on; an unmarried, single mother, a fallen woman with a bastard child. Both she and the baby would be shunned, for something that was neither fault of theirs._

_'I will do anything to protect you, anything I can,' she whispered._

_Over the next few weeks she contemplated several options, but none of them were feasible. For her and her child to be together, would mean her having to give up work, move to somewhere no one knew her and for her to become the widow of some unfortunate man; but that plan wouldn't work, since she would end up in the workhouse, with no money, no home and with three mouths to feed, hers, her baby's and Becky's too. But she was going to have to leave her Ladyship's employment soon, as she was beginning to show, and it was getting increasingly difficult to hide it, especially now that Cora was pregnant too and needed more attention._

_Despite Elsie's efforts to conceal her pregnancy, Cora had noticed changes in her behaviour and in how she looked. She looked exhausted and didn't seem to move as easily as she once did and she also looked worried and constantly troubled, as if her mind was somewhere else. Then one day the opportunity to confront her presented itself and Elsie could no longer find excuses or brush it off._

_She had been brushing Cora's long hair when she had accidently dropped the brush and she must have bent down too quickly or done something, because she suddenly felt a very sharp pain in her lower tummy and almost keeled over in shock. She just managed to sit herself down on the blanket box at the foot of Cora's bed before she fell to the floor and she felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her._

_'Are you alright Miss Hughes?' Cora asked with great concern as she rushed from her chair to her maid's side._

_'I'm perfectly fine thank you Milady; just a little dizzy, that's all.' She replied, but she was very breathless and fairly shaken up by whatever had happened._

_'No you're not fine and you haven't been for some time now. Miss Hughes I demand that you tell me at once what it is that has been troubling you and I won't take no for an answer this time.' Cora said emphatically and was relieved when she saw all the emotions that Elsie had clearly been bottling up, came to a head as she began to weep. _

_'I'm so sorry Milady; this is terribly unprofessional of me.' Elsie said once she had calmed a little and dabbed her eyes with a silk handkerchief handed to her by Cora._

_She explained everything to Cora about Richard; the comments he had made, the inappropriate contact and, finally, she told her about the night he had attacked her. Cora listened intently to the poor woman's story and she could see that she was in hell, which was only made worse when she went on to tell her of her pregnancy._

_'I was hoping that I could have done this once we returned, but I see that I now have no choice. I will hand in my notice now Milady and I will leave in the morning for home.' Elsie said._

_'No you won't. You have given me no cause to sack you and I feel that you have been treated unfairly as it is.' Cora replied, much to Elsie's shock._

_'But you see, I must hand in my notice Milady; I won't be able to work for much longer before the baby is born and then when it is, I will need to find a family to adopt it, so that I can go on working in another house, somewhere I might be able to start again and try to forget…' But she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence, which Cora thought meant that she wanted to forget about what Richard had done to her, when in actual fact, she really wanted to say "try to forget my baby is out there without me"._

_'Miss Hughes, don't go making any rash decision that you will later regret; at least let me try to figure something mutually beneficial to us all, alright?' Cora said kindly, but it wasn't until nearly a week later that she finally returned to Elsie with the answer, which had taken Elsie completely by surprise._

_'I'm sorry Milady, but I'm not quite sure I understand you. You want to keep me and my baby at Downton?' She asked absolutely stunned._

_'That's right; Lord Grantham and I will take your baby on as our own and bring it up as the twin of our baby and you can be their nurse or nanny until they are old enough. After that we can find a more suitable position in the house for you, so that you can come and go as you please and be with your child without any of the shame you would otherwise have had to bear.' Cora explained._

_'I don't quite know what to say Milady.' Elsie replied quietly as she felt the tears spring to her eyes again and then she felt something else. She felt her baby move inside her, giving her a gentle dig in the ribs as if to say that she was alright with that arrangement._

_And that, of course, was what they had done. With all of the excitement of Cora going into labour with Lady Sybil the day before, Elsie soon found herself in the midst of her labour pangs. She was a little earlier than they had expected, but the doctor on hand told her that everything was alright and that he had no reason to believe that she wouldn't have a healthy baby. So she pushed Ella into the world on a warm morning of April 14th 1896 and that was the last day, so she believed, that she was allowed to be mother to her baby girl._

_As she held her in her arms and looked down at the tiny bundle wrapped in her blankets, Elsie smiled with genuine joy and looked closely at every one of her features. Her baby was gorgeous and stunningly pure._

_'I hope you will never find out the truth, but if you ever do, I hope you will forgive me for what I am doing and I just hope and pray that it's the right thing. I love you more than anyone else in the world ever could and I hope you will always know that. I will always watch over you and always be there for you.' She had whispered and then she enjoyed the remaining, blissful hours that they had together._

_Once Cora had taken Ella into her life as her daughter she had fallen in love with her instantly, but she never quite forgot the sacrifice that Elsie was making and she wanted to try and mark that in some way._

_'Miss Hughes, what was your mother's name?' She had asked out of the blue one day._

_'My mother's name was Rose Milady; why do you ask?' Elsie had replied._

_'Well I would like to name her Aurelia Rose, so that you will always know that a little part of you lives on in her, always.' Cora had said._


	13. Chapter 13

'Mam you don't have to do this,' Ella said with astonishment at her mam's bravery, but she also feared what this found confidence would do to her, as did Charlie.

'Ella's right Mrs Hughes, there is no need to put yourself through this!' He implored as Robert ushered David and Violet into the library again.

'But I do have to do this. I have lived with this for too long and now it's time I faced it properly.' Elsie replied as she stood wobbly from her seat, supported by her daughter on one side and her future husband on the other; her family.

'If you're sure this is what you want then I'll be right here beside you.' Ella whispered as she placed a comforting kiss to her mam's temple.

Charlie clasped her hand in his and placed his other hand at the small of her back.

'You can hold my hand to make you feel steady, for a change.' He whispered and they gave each other a brief, encouraging smile as she took those first tentative steps forward, but as they got into the library she made a very difficult decision.

'I'd like to speak to Mr Crawley on my own.' She said weakly and both Ella and Charlie's concern for her grew.

'Mam I'm not sure...' Ella began to say before Elsie cut her off.

'It's alright Ella, I have to do this. This started between me and him and now I want to finish it.' She said. 'Your grandmother needs you now more than I do.' She added as she gave a gentle nod in Violet's direction, who clearly looked distressed.

Charlie looked at her with nervous anticipation. He wanted to say so much to her, but her quiet determination seemed to prevent him from saying anything. His mouth opened and then closed, before he opened again, 'We'll be just outside this door if you need us.' He said as he tried to convey his support to her in his tone, but his eyes told her so much more.

'That's quite alright Mr Carson; he won't do anything to hurt me now. '

Everyone did as she asked and slowly, but reluctantly vacated the room, leaving David to sit on the sofa by the fire and Elsie standing behind the one opposite him. There was silence for a few moments as she stared intently at him with her anger burning inside her.

'I must have really broken your heart to cause you to look at me with such hate.' He said nervously.

'Broken my heart? Broke...you did a lot more to me than break my heart, you nearly destroyed it!' She said angrily and the extent of her Scottish accent became very clear. 'I had plans for my life and I had self-respect. Because of you I was forced to bring my child into the world and had to endure watching her grow up with someone else as her mother. I'm very grateful for what Lord and lady Grantham did for me, as the alternatives would have meant me never seeing my child again; but I missed out on so much with my daughter and so much in my life because of you! And in turn the pain and suffering that that poor child has had to endure in the last six months…you have no idea, none at all; and you caused all of it!'

'I'm sorry Mrs Hughes for your pain, but I still don't quite understand what it is that happened between us.' David said with genuine sincerity.

Elsie took a large, deep breath as she prepared herself to relive her experience one last time, vowing that no matter what, this would be an end to it and this time she didn't hold back. Although she struggled with it, she went into every detail about what he had done to her and what he had put her through and as she finally came to the end of the sordid tale, she felt something lift from her. She no longer felt guilt, she no longer felt shame and she no longer felt consumed by anger.

She now pitied the man in front of her; a former shell of the once devious, conniving, sinister being that he once was, who had taken such pleasure in torturing her. No, this man was now devastated by her words and he couldn't believe that any part of him could have committed something so cruel; but he admired the courage of the woman in front of him and how much strength it must have taken her to confront him like this.

In the drawing room, Robert was trying to comfort Violet, who was very obviously distressed by what had occurred and Ella was torn between listening at the library door with Mr Carson, or joining her father and grandmother in the drawing room. She realised, possibly for the first time, that, in effect, she actually had two families now, one quite different from the other and her heart felt very torn. As she and Mr Carson stood side by side, their ears pressed against the door, she could feel her heart pounding beneath her ribs and it gave an especially hard, painful stab, each and every time Ella heard her mam's voice raised.

At the same time, she wanted to be sure that her granny was going to be quite alright. She knew and very much understood that it wasn't Violet's fault that Richard did what he did. The whole point of this evening had been to avoid causing her pain and now Ella very much felt that her own pain was for nothing.

As she continued to stand by the door she forgot herself for a moment and allowed herself to cry and slumped against the door, only to find two very strong arms wrapped around her and supporting her, as Mr Carson held her steady in his arms. He stroked her hair soothingly and made very gentle shushing noises and listened as her sobs began to ease.

'I remember doing this with you when you were very, very small Ella.' He whispered tenderly and he did allow his mind to drift back to a much happier occasion, many years earlier.


	14. Chapter 14

_'Ally bally, ally bally bee, __Sittin' on yer mammy's knee, Greetin' for a wee bawbee, Tae buy some Coulter's candy,' Elsie sang quietly as she held baby Ella in her arms and walked her round the nursery whilst gently patting her bottom and bouncing her ever so slightly, but the baby continued to cry as she had done for hours._

_Elsie was a very patient mother…nanny, even, and would spend hours cradling her child, soothing her and feeding her, but Doctor Clarkson said she was a very colicky baby and that very little would usually soothe the bairn. But that didn't put Elsie off, she would continue to persevere until she found something that worked; however, going almost a full three days without any sleep, was starting to take its toll on her and she was looking very tired._

_The door to the nursery stood slightly ajar and Mr Carson, who was doing his rounds on the upper floors, couldn't help but sneak a peek at Elsie and her charges when he heard her stunning, Celtic voice singing the old Scottish folk song. As he glanced in he saw how natural she was with the baby and the loving looks that she gave her, even though the baby wasn't settling, she still looked adoringly at her._

_He had to really supress the thought that she would make a wonderful mother herself one day, should she ever choose to leave service, but the thought of her leaving pained him greatly and it wasn't one he liked to dwell on too much. He had counted down the days to her return when she was in America with Lord and Lady Grantham, as he had missed hearing her around the house or having their brief conversations at the dinner table and he was so pleased to see that she returned happier and more content than when she had left; clearly the break away from Downton had done her wonders, but there were other changes now in place within the house that required getting used to, as he was no longer the Under Butler, but was now the Butler and master of the staff._

_She had been delighted for him when he had given her the news in his letter to her; he had written to her often whilst she was away and she had clearly expressed that it would be a privilege to work under a highly dedicated man such as him. He had also taken great relief from her next letter to him, when she had reassured him that she would never leave Downton as long as she had breath left in her body, after he had joked that she'd spent so much time in America that she'd never want to return. _

_As he shuffled outside the door he hit upon a creaky floorboard, which gave an almighty squeak and betrayed him to Elsie. He peered sheepishly round the door as baby Ella continued to cry and Elsie felt glad to see him._

_'Why don't you give her here to me for a little while, you look dead on your feet Miss Hughes.' He suggested and she did as he said and passed her little bundle into his big, strong arms._

_It was very rare that Elsie let anyone near her child; she tried not to feel so over protective of her and kept reminding herself that she was no longer her bairn, but trying to do any of that was like trying to ask the weather not to rain on a cloudy day. But Mr Carson held more than just her high opinion._

_After everything she had been through, he still held her heart and was the only man, the only one, who made her feel safe and secure and who made her feel like she was worth something again. Whilst she had been in America, awaiting the birth of her daughter, the only thing that kept her going was his letters from home and the thought of him waiting for her there. He was one of the factors that made returning to Downton bearable and made her feel strong enough to deal with the troubles she would inevitably have to face and he would never know just how much of a difference he made to her life._

_Now, sat in the sanctuary of the nursery, she watched as this tall, very handsome and usually very proper man, walked round the nursery with Ella pressed close to his chest and smiled with joy as her baby began to settle, as he sang softly to her._

_'Dashing away with a smoothing iron, dashing away with a smoothing iron, dashing away with a smoothing iron, she stole my heart away,' he sang softly, but with his familiar low rumble that baby Ella clearly found comforting, as she finally drifted off to sleep after a few verses._

_'Well you've certainly captured her heart Mr Carson; I've been trying to get her off for hours.' Elsie explained with a tired smile._

_'She's a stubborn and determined little tyke, I'll give her that.' He replied quietly as he gently put her back into her crib._

_Elsie smiled as she watched him and thought about how delightfully paternal he was with Ella and how she wished things were so very different. She wished with all her heart that she was his baby and that they were together and in their own place far away and she quickly had to hide the blush that was flaming her cheeks and she chastised herself for thinking such things. If Mr Carson knew what she had been thinking, he would have been most aghast and embarrassed and she couldn't allow those kinds of thoughts to enter her mind anymore. Her circumstances were as they were and she had a very kind and gentle friend in Mr Carson, a friend she was lucky to have and a friendship she didn't want to lose with inappropriate thoughts and unrequited love._


	15. Chapter 15

Charlie was still holding Ella tightly to his chest when the door to the library finally opened and Elsie stood on the other side, looking exhausted, yet relieved.

'You may come in now if you wish,' she said softly as she ushered her daughter and fiancé into the room.

Ella felt unsure as to what to expect exactly as she walked in but she could see that David was clearly destroyed by what her mam had told him and her compassionate side told her not to add any more to his burden, but the side of her that held on to so much pain and anger at him, told her to go on and to say her piece.

'I believe Mr Crawley has a few things that he'd like to say to you Ella.' Elsie said quietly as she stood behind her daughter and next to Charlie, who wrapped his arm around her in a very deliberate way as he glared angrily at David, leaving him in no doubt that he was there to protect his soon to be wife and felt so relieved to have him their beside her.

'And what is it exactly that you wish to say to me?' Ella asked calmly, but with very little emotion in her voice.

'Only that, I came here to find out who I am…or rather, who I was. I never intended to hurt you or your mother, or anyone for that matter. I honestly had no idea what it was that I had done, I have absolutely no recollection of ever being Richard Crawley and I am certainly nothing like him now.' David explained as he implored to her kind and caring nature.

'Mr Casey, I do appreciate that you are, perhaps, not the same man that you were when you left this house twenty five years ago and I will not ask that you cut ties with your mother; heaven knows I know what it feels like to be separated from your mother and to have no control over that relationship. However, what I will ask is that you do not ask about me, you do not tell anyone about me and you do not think about me. As far as you are concerned I do not exist. I only have one father and he is a very good man and I love him so very much and one day, Mr Carson will be my second father and I will be very glad to afford him that title on the day he marries my mam; but you will not factor into any part of my life. Do I make myself clear?' She said very calmly and very slowly, making sure every syllable was emphasised.

Elsie just happened to glance up at Charlie as Ella gave her very touching speech and she noticed that he had tears in his eyes; he was clearly very touched by what she had to say about him, so she gave the dear, sweet man a gentle squeeze of his hand which he quickly reciprocated.

'Right, I'm now going to go in to my grandmother to make sure she is quite alright; the last thing I need is for her to take ill.' Ella said as she left the room with one, last, parting glare at David and she was soon followed by Charlie and Elsie.

'Are going up to bed mam? You look done in!' Ella said as she clasped her mam's hands in her own, seeking comfort as much as she was offering it.

'Yes I am; it's been…well, a rather eventful night.' She replied sounding exhausted.

'Right, well I'm going to deal with Granny and then I'll come and check on you in a little while.' Ella responded as she placed a very brief kiss to her mam's forehead before disappearing into the other room, whilst Elsie and Charlie both parted for the beds.

As Ella quietly entered the room, she saw Robert and Violet sat beside each other in front of the fire, but slightly apart. Violet was desperately trying to hold her emotions in, but was clearly struggling to do so as Robert explained everything to her, this time promising not to hold anything back. She took it reasonably well, or as well as you can do, and she didn't seem to look as strained as she had before, but the news still clearly affected her and she no longer knew exactly how to respond; but neither Ella nor Robert expected her to. Ella sat on the other side of her grandmother and rested her head against her shoulder and the three of them sat in silence for the rest of the night.


	16. Chapter 16

By the beginning of November life for the Crawleys, Elsie and Charlie had returned to some level of normality, with Ella, Elsie and Charlie finding a new "normality" for themselves, turning their tete-a-tetes into an evening ménage et trios, the perfect little, secret, family below stairs, whilst maintaining the utmost professionalism upstairs. Ella had finally found the perfect balance between her two families.

David had disappeared as he had promised, almost the very next day after he had discovered his true past, and he had also done as he was instructed and had made no attempts to contact or acknowledge Ella in any way. She had asked her grandmother once if she had received any correspondence from him, to ensure he was at least keeping in contact with his mother, and was satisfied with the simple "yes" that Violet gave her.

Of course Violet never said very much about how she was coping or feeling about the situation she now found herself in, but Ella had tried to reassure her, that she held her no ill will for wanting to keep in contact with her son; if anything, she actively encouraged her to.

The only concern that Violet did raise, was the matter of the entail on Robert's death; Robert had set Murray to work on it immediately and the whole family were relieved to discover that there was a loop hole built into the original entail.

'Most entails clearly state that fortunes, titles, and estates can only pass directly from male to male through his blood line; however, rather unusually, this entail does allow everything to be passed through a female directly related to the current Earl and/or holder of the title, fortunes and estate. Therefore, providing Lady Mary has a male child, he will become the next Earl of Grantham.' Murray had explained much to the delight of the whole family, but to the slight dismay of Mary, who realised, that this would mean that she and Matthew would never inherit the title; but this was an added bonus for Matthew, who of course never wanted any of the fuss in the first place.

With David gone and out of her life forever, Elsie felt that she could finally move on with her life and truly allow herself to be with the man she loved. Ever since that night in the library, Charlie had changed so much towards her, that he was almost unrecognisable as the once stoic, professional to the last, man she had known several months earlier. He was still very much the gentleman and never conducted himself in an improper manner, that was promised for when they were married, but he did allow himself to be more carefree with his feelings towards the love of his life. He never failed to tell her daily that he loved and adored her and every now and then she would find a love letter or simple note hidden in one of her ledgers on her desk, or in between the pages of the book she was reading. She had even found herself writing back to him as if she was a lovesick teenager.

They hadn't yet announced their engagement to any of the staff, they weren't entirely sure if they even wanted the staff to be involved but they had started discussing a date for their union to finally become official. Mr Carson hadn't wanted to push Elsie so soon after what had happened with David. She hadn't been unwilling in any way, but he could see that her experiences had unsettled her and had obviously brought back a lot of bad feelings for her. He wanted her to walk down that aisle as his Elsie and only as his Elsie, the Elsie that only he ever got to see when she allowed herself to be at her most vulnerable with him. He didn't want the Elsie that had felt trapped for so many years or the Elsie that had almost been destroyed by what had happened to her.

No, he wanted the Elsie that sat curled up into his side, night after night in her sitting room and the Elsie that wasn't afraid show him affection and brush that loose curl from his forehead, the one that he had always hated in the past, but since she commented on how much she loved it, he too now fell in love with it.

That was exactly as they were sat now; late into their evening, when really they should have been going to bed, but enjoying each other's company too much to move.

'Perhaps we should wait until the New Year before we marry Mr Carson? You know how stressed and busy we both get before Christmas and I don't want our day to be overshadowed by all of that.' Elsie said as she sat on the sofa, which Ella had insisted on moving in to her sitting room for them.

'Perhaps you are right Mrs Hughes; but, well, I do beg your pardon at being so forward, but I do so wish to be your husband and to be, well to be with you as your husband, sooner rather than later.' He explained in a forward fashion that would previously have been very out of character for him, but within the sanctuary of these walls, he no longer felt any fear in being so honest with the woman he loved. She gave him a very knowing smile and felt sure she knew how to answer him, but there was a slight hesitation behind her eyes. 'What is it Mrs Hughes?' He prompted.

'Well, it's just, I do very much want that too, to be with you as your wife I mean, but…'

'But what?'

'Well, I've been able to disperse much of my guilt Mr Carson, that much is very true, but I won't be pure for you on our wedding night and I do still have such great difficulty with that.' She whispered a little teary and now he understood her hesitation.

'Ah, I see,' he replied as he sat up a little straighter in his seat, still holding tightly on to Elsie, but buying himself a few moments to gather his thoughts. 'Mrs Hughes, you having nothing to fear about that. You will be as pure for me on our wedding night and nothing will change that fact, not for me.' He whispered and placed a very tender kiss to her forehead, but she still had a look of uncertainty in her eyes that he didn't hesitate with his next move.

He tilted her chin up slightly with his finger and placed a very delicate kiss to her lips, which she reciprocated and they soon became very lost in their embrace with their caresses. That was until a knock came to the door. They straightened themselves so that they looked respectable once more, before Elsie allowed the person in, but was delighted when it was Ella who walked in, even if she had just interrupted a rather intimate moment.

'I'm sorry to call so late, but I've only just finalised the details and I wanted to come and see you both as soon as I knew. I have the most thrilling news for you both!' She said with hastened excitement and received a rather excited look from Elsie. 'No Mam, before you go getting THAT kind of excited, I'm not pregnant.' She explained and stifled a giggle at the look of disappointment on her mother's face. 'No, the news I have for you is regarding a gift that I have for you. Now, I don't really know how to explain this to you both, but I know you've been talking about what would happen to you post-wedding and I know mam that you've had certain other concerns regarding, well, regarding your financial situation. So I hope you don't mind, but I had already taken the liberty and had started this process a long time ago. The house in which you stayed in, albeit briefly, well, I actually started that refurbishment process myself, as I always intended to offer that to you both as your home. The deeds are in your name, it is rent free and mortgage free, you don't have to worry about any of that.' She said.

'Wait, you mean the house we stayed in all those months ago, that's our house?' Elsie said with astonishment. She had never owned a house before or even imagined she ever would and it was the most beautiful gift but, 'that's an awfully big gift to give away Ella. Surly you and Henry would be much better putting that money towards starting your own family!' She exclaimed.

'Don't you worry about that Mam; I can assure you that I have plenty of money for my family, when it eventually happens. But it's part of the reason why I want to give you this gift. I so enjoyed our time together in London, with no one to hide from or for me to feel embarrassed in front of, because I didn't have to call you Mrs Hughes. I was free to call you Mam and I loved every second of it. And when Henry and I do have a family of our own, they will be your grandchildren and I would very much love for them to be able to visit their granny and granddad freely.' Ella explained and both Elsie and Charlie felt so touched that she had thought of them in such detail regarding her future plans.

'I also have something else I would like to give you and I know you really will put up a fight regarding this one, but let me explain first before you start to object. I never knew that you had any family other than me Mam and I rather selfishly thought that you only ever stayed here at Downton because of me; it never occurred to me that it may have been because of anyone else. So when you eventually let me in on our family secret, all I want to do is help, well I want to help both you and my aunt.' She explained with a slight, shy, smile as she handed Elsie a cheque, to which she gave a loud gasp.

'Ella this is far too much I cannot, no I will not accept that!' She said and then instantly felt a little guilty at the sharpness of her tone. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound ungrateful.' She added quickly.

'You don't sound ungrateful, I know what I'm giving is probably a lot, but there are reasons as to how I came to that amount. See I'm rather ashamed to say that I never realised how little you all get paid until I started looking into it, so I have actually managed to secure a small pay rise for all of the long term staff; but I calculated roughly how much you should have had saved for your pension, based on your years of service and then I doubled that amount. That cheque is to ensure that you are both comfortable after you are married, so that you can decide whether you want to stay here and work, retire or go on an extended holiday, I don't know, it's now you're money to do with as you please; but it is also money to help pay for my Aunt Becky's care.' Ella explained and Elsie really didn't know what to say to her beautiful girl and her sweet offer.

'Well then, I guess we just have to settle on a date now, don't we Mr Carson?' She said tentatively as he gazed in astonishment at the cheque she had given to him.

'Ah well I had an idea about that as well!' Ella exclaimed.

**Thank you so much to those of you who have stuck by me through my stories so far. Your comments and feedback is always greatly appreciated and I want to give a really specially HUGE thank you to Mona Love, as she has reviewed every single chapter I have written so far and stuck by me. So after this rather angsty fic, my next one is going to be so Chelsie Fluff filled that it'll burst at the seams lol xxx**


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